The Reveal

So this weekend was my coming out weekend!  Yup, that's right...I stopped rocking my wig IN PUBLIC!!!  It was a decision long coming.  It's getting hot outside, I have started not liking my wig so much and grew tired of constantly checking out the mirror to make sure it didn't look "wiggy" after going outside.  I started testing the waters by dropping my daughter off to school without the wig but with a scarf nicely and fashionably tied around my head.  Then feeling, rather awesome one day, decided to actually take BabyGirl to school without my wig AND without a scarf.  Suffice it to say, she was not impressed.  In fact, she seemed quite disturbed that not only had her mama lost her hair, she's lost her mind walking around without her wig!  I managed to soothe her.

Baby Girl has remained decidedly unimpressed with my decision to go natural and can be, at times, both vocal and insensitive.  However, since she's only 5 (almost 6) I forgive her-at times-unkind statements and quietly tell her, "no honey, mommy is not a boy, I'm still a girl just with short hair".  One day, Baby Girl, made a really ugly comment about mommy being "bald headed" and my darling hubby quickly jumped in and set her straight.  He let her know her comments were going on too long and had remained unchecked for too long and will no longer be tolerated.  "Mommy is a girl and you know this, she is NOT a boy and when you keep saying that it hurts mommy's feelings!" he said one day and encouraged her to apologize to me.  She did and we've been fine ever since....but I still get the impression she prefers me with my wig on and so I indulged her.

Until this weekend.  On Friday I received the BAQ Henna I had bought online, spent all day Saturday getting it in my head and on Saturday night I went out to my brother-in-law's birthday party with my hubby.  I felt like I was going to throw up the whole ride in the car to the restaurant.  Why?  After all I now have a whole 2 inches or so of HEALTHY hair on my head.  It's uneven but I've decided to leave it alone, some parts are over 2 inches, some parts are about an inch.  However, there are no longer ANY bald spots, no missing hair AT ALL!  So yay!  I deep conditioned my newly Henna'ed hair, moisturized the now slightly red strands and it looked really cute.  My makeup was on point, my earrings were banging...so why the urge to throw up???

My darling hubby and I arrived at Bahama Breeze, the valet opened the door and smiled at me.  I grabbed the presents and balloons and walked into the restaurant and waited for the sideways looks. The kind but patronizing smiles when you encounter someone who thinks she looks good but acutally does not.  The looks of sheer horror.  Instead, I got a loud, resounding, WHOOP of joy, surprise, excitement from my family and friends.  They thought I looked great!  They finally got to see what I'd been hiding for the last 4 months under my wig.  I felt like a million bucks!

Okay, so Saturday night was a success but what about church on Sunday morning?  My darling hubby and I are very involved, active, visible members of our church.  What on earth will these women and men of our congregation say?  So I woke up on Sunday morning and had a conversation with myself..."if they don't like your hair that's THEIR problem NOT yours.  Woman up and let that darn wig go!" and so, I did.  I went to church on Sunday morning with all 2 inches of my natural hair exposed for all the church world to see.  I secretly hoped I would just be able to get through the lobby and head directly to my seat and quietly enjoy service, then quietly leave and maybe just 1 or 2 people would actually see me.  Wrong!!!  As soon as I walked into the lobby, I encountered not 1, not 2 but 5 women I knew and they were surprised at my decision and LOVED my new 'do.  In fact, the entire service was spent with women AND men coming up to me to compliment on my new natural look.  I felt like a rock star!

So now it's done.  I survived my family, friends and church crew and their thoughts and opinions but what about work?  Yes, I work.  I work in a VERY boring, stiff, CORPORATE environment.  At my level in this organization, there are not a lot of women of color...in fact when I think about it, there are not a lot of women of color, period.  Will they think I'm too radical?  Will they use this new "look" as a reason to show my the door?  Will they even really care?  So...it's Monday morning and I walk into our downtown office and....nothing.  Well actually, I had one person, a white guy stop me and say, "whoa! new look huh?  Pretty cool, I can totally see your eyes." and he walked on to get his coffee.  I felt like it was any other day in my little space in Corporate World.