So my last post talked about my search for moisture for my seemingly EVER-thirsty strands. Well, I think I've figured out a moisture regimen that actually works for my hair. I have been using Oyin Handmade products for a few months now, specifically their Honey Hemp Conditioner. This conditioner is in a word, AWESOME!! I love it and most importantly, my hair loves it. The ingredients are all natural, the consistency is creamy and leaves my hair feeling oh-so-soft. I've been using this to co-wash and one day while reading the list of ingredients to my sister I realized it can also be used as a leave-in. I thought "hmmmm".
I also use the Kinky-Curly Knot Today leave-in in my daughter's hair. My daughter's hair is extremely thick and seems to swell when wet. While her hair is not coarse, it tangles mercilessly leaving us with a painful detangling session with her asking me "mommy, why do you always hurt me?" while I'm detangling. The Knot Today has been a life-saver on her weekly wash days as it has really great "slip" allowing the comb to literally glide through her hair. I swear it has shaved a good 30 minutes off of my daughter's hair washing session. One day I tried Knot Today in my own hair and thought it was okay but after my hair dried, my hair felt a little stiff so I figured I'd leave it alone or use it with a creamy moisturizer whenever I found one that did the trick.
Last week I decided to combine the two after my shower and it worked so well, I've been doing it every day. So here's my new daily regimen:
*co-wash with Honey-Hemp conditioner
*while hair is damp add small amount of Knot Today
*add small amount of Honey-Hemp as a leave-in
*seal with organic coconut oil
My hair is unbeliveably soft and remains that way even after it dries!! Holy cow! I've finally found a way to keep my hair moisturized!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Moisture-free zone!
Okay, now that I'm no longer covered up under hair that is not mine, I've realized my own strands are thirsty! My regime is fairly simple in the morning:
*co-wash with a moisturizing conditioner
*apply some sort of leave-in
*apply some sort of moisturizing agent
*seal it with a bit of oil
Then it's off to work I go. My total time for shower, hair and face is now about 30 minutes, the other 30 minutes is spent in my closet trying to figure out what on earth to wear that day. My issue is dryness during my work day. What should I do? I have had several recommendations to take a small spritz bottle to work with me and spritz my hair a couple times at the office....I haven't gotten around to doing that yet. I have a couple spritz bottles at home but never think to take them to the office.
I have a natural girlfriend who swears by glycerin/water mix. I tried the glycerin route once but it didn't really work for me. Then again, it was winter time when I tried it and have since found out when it's cold and dry outside is not the best time to use a humectant. Since it feels a whole lot like summer outside lately, perhaps I'll try the glycerin mix again. I think I'll whip me up a batch today and see if I like the results.
*co-wash with a moisturizing conditioner
*apply some sort of leave-in
*apply some sort of moisturizing agent
*seal it with a bit of oil
Then it's off to work I go. My total time for shower, hair and face is now about 30 minutes, the other 30 minutes is spent in my closet trying to figure out what on earth to wear that day. My issue is dryness during my work day. What should I do? I have had several recommendations to take a small spritz bottle to work with me and spritz my hair a couple times at the office....I haven't gotten around to doing that yet. I have a couple spritz bottles at home but never think to take them to the office.
I have a natural girlfriend who swears by glycerin/water mix. I tried the glycerin route once but it didn't really work for me. Then again, it was winter time when I tried it and have since found out when it's cold and dry outside is not the best time to use a humectant. Since it feels a whole lot like summer outside lately, perhaps I'll try the glycerin mix again. I think I'll whip me up a batch today and see if I like the results.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Reveal
So this weekend was my coming out weekend! Yup, that's right...I stopped rocking my wig IN PUBLIC!!! It was a decision long coming. It's getting hot outside, I have started not liking my wig so much and grew tired of constantly checking out the mirror to make sure it didn't look "wiggy" after going outside. I started testing the waters by dropping my daughter off to school without the wig but with a scarf nicely and fashionably tied around my head. Then feeling, rather awesome one day, decided to actually take BabyGirl to school without my wig AND without a scarf. Suffice it to say, she was not impressed. In fact, she seemed quite disturbed that not only had her mama lost her hair, she's lost her mind walking around without her wig! I managed to soothe her.
Baby Girl has remained decidedly unimpressed with my decision to go natural and can be, at times, both vocal and insensitive. However, since she's only 5 (almost 6) I forgive her-at times-unkind statements and quietly tell her, "no honey, mommy is not a boy, I'm still a girl just with short hair". One day, Baby Girl, made a really ugly comment about mommy being "bald headed" and my darling hubby quickly jumped in and set her straight. He let her know her comments were going on too long and had remained unchecked for too long and will no longer be tolerated. "Mommy is a girl and you know this, she is NOT a boy and when you keep saying that it hurts mommy's feelings!" he said one day and encouraged her to apologize to me. She did and we've been fine ever since....but I still get the impression she prefers me with my wig on and so I indulged her.
Until this weekend. On Friday I received the BAQ Henna I had bought online, spent all day Saturday getting it in my head and on Saturday night I went out to my brother-in-law's birthday party with my hubby. I felt like I was going to throw up the whole ride in the car to the restaurant. Why? After all I now have a whole 2 inches or so of HEALTHY hair on my head. It's uneven but I've decided to leave it alone, some parts are over 2 inches, some parts are about an inch. However, there are no longer ANY bald spots, no missing hair AT ALL! So yay! I deep conditioned my newly Henna'ed hair, moisturized the now slightly red strands and it looked really cute. My makeup was on point, my earrings were banging...so why the urge to throw up???
My darling hubby and I arrived at Bahama Breeze, the valet opened the door and smiled at me. I grabbed the presents and balloons and walked into the restaurant and waited for the sideways looks. The kind but patronizing smiles when you encounter someone who thinks she looks good but acutally does not. The looks of sheer horror. Instead, I got a loud, resounding, WHOOP of joy, surprise, excitement from my family and friends. They thought I looked great! They finally got to see what I'd been hiding for the last 4 months under my wig. I felt like a million bucks!
Okay, so Saturday night was a success but what about church on Sunday morning? My darling hubby and I are very involved, active, visible members of our church. What on earth will these women and men of our congregation say? So I woke up on Sunday morning and had a conversation with myself..."if they don't like your hair that's THEIR problem NOT yours. Woman up and let that darn wig go!" and so, I did. I went to church on Sunday morning with all 2 inches of my natural hair exposed for all the church world to see. I secretly hoped I would just be able to get through the lobby and head directly to my seat and quietly enjoy service, then quietly leave and maybe just 1 or 2 people would actually see me. Wrong!!! As soon as I walked into the lobby, I encountered not 1, not 2 but 5 women I knew and they were surprised at my decision and LOVED my new 'do. In fact, the entire service was spent with women AND men coming up to me to compliment on my new natural look. I felt like a rock star!
So now it's done. I survived my family, friends and church crew and their thoughts and opinions but what about work? Yes, I work. I work in a VERY boring, stiff, CORPORATE environment. At my level in this organization, there are not a lot of women of color...in fact when I think about it, there are not a lot of women of color, period. Will they think I'm too radical? Will they use this new "look" as a reason to show my the door? Will they even really care? So...it's Monday morning and I walk into our downtown office and....nothing. Well actually, I had one person, a white guy stop me and say, "whoa! new look huh? Pretty cool, I can totally see your eyes." and he walked on to get his coffee. I felt like it was any other day in my little space in Corporate World.
Baby Girl has remained decidedly unimpressed with my decision to go natural and can be, at times, both vocal and insensitive. However, since she's only 5 (almost 6) I forgive her-at times-unkind statements and quietly tell her, "no honey, mommy is not a boy, I'm still a girl just with short hair". One day, Baby Girl, made a really ugly comment about mommy being "bald headed" and my darling hubby quickly jumped in and set her straight. He let her know her comments were going on too long and had remained unchecked for too long and will no longer be tolerated. "Mommy is a girl and you know this, she is NOT a boy and when you keep saying that it hurts mommy's feelings!" he said one day and encouraged her to apologize to me. She did and we've been fine ever since....but I still get the impression she prefers me with my wig on and so I indulged her.
Until this weekend. On Friday I received the BAQ Henna I had bought online, spent all day Saturday getting it in my head and on Saturday night I went out to my brother-in-law's birthday party with my hubby. I felt like I was going to throw up the whole ride in the car to the restaurant. Why? After all I now have a whole 2 inches or so of HEALTHY hair on my head. It's uneven but I've decided to leave it alone, some parts are over 2 inches, some parts are about an inch. However, there are no longer ANY bald spots, no missing hair AT ALL! So yay! I deep conditioned my newly Henna'ed hair, moisturized the now slightly red strands and it looked really cute. My makeup was on point, my earrings were banging...so why the urge to throw up???
My darling hubby and I arrived at Bahama Breeze, the valet opened the door and smiled at me. I grabbed the presents and balloons and walked into the restaurant and waited for the sideways looks. The kind but patronizing smiles when you encounter someone who thinks she looks good but acutally does not. The looks of sheer horror. Instead, I got a loud, resounding, WHOOP of joy, surprise, excitement from my family and friends. They thought I looked great! They finally got to see what I'd been hiding for the last 4 months under my wig. I felt like a million bucks!
Okay, so Saturday night was a success but what about church on Sunday morning? My darling hubby and I are very involved, active, visible members of our church. What on earth will these women and men of our congregation say? So I woke up on Sunday morning and had a conversation with myself..."if they don't like your hair that's THEIR problem NOT yours. Woman up and let that darn wig go!" and so, I did. I went to church on Sunday morning with all 2 inches of my natural hair exposed for all the church world to see. I secretly hoped I would just be able to get through the lobby and head directly to my seat and quietly enjoy service, then quietly leave and maybe just 1 or 2 people would actually see me. Wrong!!! As soon as I walked into the lobby, I encountered not 1, not 2 but 5 women I knew and they were surprised at my decision and LOVED my new 'do. In fact, the entire service was spent with women AND men coming up to me to compliment on my new natural look. I felt like a rock star!
So now it's done. I survived my family, friends and church crew and their thoughts and opinions but what about work? Yes, I work. I work in a VERY boring, stiff, CORPORATE environment. At my level in this organization, there are not a lot of women of color...in fact when I think about it, there are not a lot of women of color, period. Will they think I'm too radical? Will they use this new "look" as a reason to show my the door? Will they even really care? So...it's Monday morning and I walk into our downtown office and....nothing. Well actually, I had one person, a white guy stop me and say, "whoa! new look huh? Pretty cool, I can totally see your eyes." and he walked on to get his coffee. I felt like it was any other day in my little space in Corporate World.
The Big Change
Since I BC'd back in January, a lot has changed. Namely, my husband and his viewpoint on my hair and my journey. My hubby is a loving, kind, gentle soul. He also has VERY specific thoughts as to what his definition of "beautiful" is and those thoughts include long, curly hair. When I got home from my salon visit and my Big Chop, I was extremely nervous as to what he would say and what he would think. I had the stylist create a custom wig for me made from 100% real indian hair. Now this wig was FIERCE and looked really nice but what was waiting underneath was a head of barely 1 inch of hair sprinkled liberally with bald spots and tracts of missing hair. To say I looked like some sort of victim was to put it mildly. When my hubby got home, he was excited to see my new 'do, in fact he loved the wig. When I ripped it off my head and showed him my bald dome, he nodded sympathetically and said, "it will grow back." Sounds like a happy ever after ending, doesn't it? In fact, it was not. It was just the beginning of the growing pains my darling hubby and I experienced.
Every day I looked at my bald head and felt....less than. Less than female, less than sexy, less than attractive...just simply less than. My hair was so short I couldn't even grab enough strands to twist it. It was so sad. My hubby, normally the chatty type, grew more and more quiet...and I noticed. I tried to seek his opinion on different styles on the internet: TWAs, twists, cornrows, locs. His response was indifference and when I pressed for something more, he would simply say "I just can't see it". So the silence between us continued for a few more weeks and I continued to rock my wig. Then one day, he talked and basically told me he and his best bud had had several discussions and I made a decision to go natural and did not include him. He told me I knew of his love for long hair and I simply cut mine off to my scalp and rarely wore my, rather expensive, wig when at home. He told me he didn't find natural hair (wait for it) ATTRACTIVE (gasp!!!!) and then all hell broke loose from there. My hubby and I fought and fought and fought. I was angry, I was hurt, I was scared and most importantly, I thought he would no longer love me. So naturally, as I do when I am angry, hurt and scared, I lashed out at him with a vengeance and called him everything but a child of God! Not. a. proud. moment.
So I left our home for a drive to get my thoughts and bash him to my girlfriend and my sister. How dare he not think my hair is beautiful? How dare he call me ugly? How dare he tell me I have to perm my hair or he'll leave me??? Now my darling hubby did not actually utter these words in any way but that is what I heard. I heard him declare these statements because these were MY insecurities and he was simply trying to figure out what I was planning. He felt left out of my decision making process because while I was making all these massive changes, I really never did discuss with him what would happen next. Heck, I went to get my hair done and a new weave put in and I came home bald with a wig! No wonder he was in a tail-spin, this is a man who DOES NOT like change.
So after the fireworks, my darling hubby and I simply talked. We talked about his concerns, my fears, his questions, my insecurities and....he supported me and continues to support me!!! He told me he'd love me no matter what, he just needed a flashlight to figure out what our next turn in the road would be and so now OUR journey has begun.
Every day I looked at my bald head and felt....less than. Less than female, less than sexy, less than attractive...just simply less than. My hair was so short I couldn't even grab enough strands to twist it. It was so sad. My hubby, normally the chatty type, grew more and more quiet...and I noticed. I tried to seek his opinion on different styles on the internet: TWAs, twists, cornrows, locs. His response was indifference and when I pressed for something more, he would simply say "I just can't see it". So the silence between us continued for a few more weeks and I continued to rock my wig. Then one day, he talked and basically told me he and his best bud had had several discussions and I made a decision to go natural and did not include him. He told me I knew of his love for long hair and I simply cut mine off to my scalp and rarely wore my, rather expensive, wig when at home. He told me he didn't find natural hair (wait for it) ATTRACTIVE (gasp!!!!) and then all hell broke loose from there. My hubby and I fought and fought and fought. I was angry, I was hurt, I was scared and most importantly, I thought he would no longer love me. So naturally, as I do when I am angry, hurt and scared, I lashed out at him with a vengeance and called him everything but a child of God! Not. a. proud. moment.
So I left our home for a drive to get my thoughts and bash him to my girlfriend and my sister. How dare he not think my hair is beautiful? How dare he call me ugly? How dare he tell me I have to perm my hair or he'll leave me??? Now my darling hubby did not actually utter these words in any way but that is what I heard. I heard him declare these statements because these were MY insecurities and he was simply trying to figure out what I was planning. He felt left out of my decision making process because while I was making all these massive changes, I really never did discuss with him what would happen next. Heck, I went to get my hair done and a new weave put in and I came home bald with a wig! No wonder he was in a tail-spin, this is a man who DOES NOT like change.
So after the fireworks, my darling hubby and I simply talked. We talked about his concerns, my fears, his questions, my insecurities and....he supported me and continues to support me!!! He told me he'd love me no matter what, he just needed a flashlight to figure out what our next turn in the road would be and so now OUR journey has begun.
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